| Stuff about Life |
[Apr. 18th, 2005|12:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | shhh.. Cassie's Sleeping. | ] |
Once again, I have been very.. VERY late in updating my live journal, so I have many new happenings to speak of.
To start, things are going very well. House things are decent, I have a summer job figured out, the band is playing out a lot, and my film just made third place at the festival!
On top of that, my mom is doing pretty well with her treatments and seems to be in high spirits.
So this last weekend was excellent. We had a great show at the New Moon on Friday and that was AFTER I got the award for the movie. It sure is nice when your hard work goes noticed. I then proceeded to have an awesome night which may have involved a little tequila...
The next night's show at the Reptile Palace was pretty cool as well. I hope we can keep the band going as long as possible, because it is starting to really pay off, and we're not even making money yet.. but playing cool shows would mean way more to me than any money.
So there's four weeks left in the semester. Unbelievable. The only class I am not doing real great in is Accounting... okay, I'm probably going to fail it.. and it will be the first class I have ever failed in my life. But for some reason, I just don't even care. I figure it's not worth worrying about if I can just take it again. Hey, what's another three credits on a class I already sort of know some things about anyway??
Did that make any sense?
Anyways,
Cassie just fell asleep cold and I'm here typing in the dark room so it should probably be off to bed soon. I told myself I'd actually get to bed at a reasonable hour (from how this weekend has gone, that would mean before, say, 4:00) and here it is after midnight.
So I'm sorry I haven't been thinking to type on this much.. I just don't think of it! I'll try to do better.. so for anyone who reads this, or whether it is just me, you can be excited to know that I will be back SOON!
Later, goodnight..
- Nate |
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| Breathing... |
[Feb. 20th, 2005|11:32 pm] |
It's been a while since I last wrote my thoughts down.
Unfortunately, more bad news has come since.
My mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She has surgery this week and then starts therapy. She should end up fine, but there's no for sure way to tell until after the surgery and the test results are back. She's going to have to endure a lot. She's going to lose a breast and all of her hair, but it isn't anything that can't be put back to normal, or as close to normal as possible.
I went home this weekend and I am driving back to school tomorrow morning for class.
I don't even really know what to feel right now, or what to do. I'm scared, mostly. Sometimes you can't help but think of the worst. I wish I could just fast-forward time to put me at ease and show my parents taking a trip to Italy next year.
I know I have to make good out of every situation. It's going to be hard to see her in pain, especially the emotional pain. I'm glad the only time I saw her cry this weekend was when she was saying how much love and support she had from her family.
It's like life is staring at you, yelling THIS IS ME. No more hiding behind news headlines and a little safe corner of the world. There's just some things you can't always run from.
Goodnight.
- Nate |
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| Back in Business |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|11:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
It's been a while since my last entry... and it was a pretty crazy week!!
So let's see where we are.. Classes started last week. Here's the lowdown:
Recording Industry looks like a carbon copy of Music Merchandising which I already took with Dr. G, only this time Wally is the teacher. Accounting looks like it will be tough, and our teacher is a really crazy old man. Music History II is with an older retired man now that Todd is in Europe. He's okay, but I think he will be harder and less energetic than Todd. Not to mention, we have harder desks than last semester! So most of this semester is kind of a bummer, but on the up side, I got out of Chamber Choir for the semester and switched to University Choir because I don't think I can put in the extra required 12 hours of practice to do the Bach B Minor Mass.
Amidst all this first week chaos, I managed to make it to my step-grandpa Paul's funeral on Wednesday. It was a really great funeral and everyone got to share some memories together. He was always such a quiet person, I wish I could have known him better. Since he served in World War II, he was given a firing squad salute with taps and a folded flag. I had never seen that in person before and it was very moving. It made me more aware than ever of all the kids overseas in Iraq. The hardest part of the day was seeing my grandma over by his coffin. She cried a little when she hugged me and my cousins and said "It's just so hard to say goodbye". I don't think I'll ever forget that because I hardly know anyone as strong as my grandma, and it really broke my heart to see her struggling like that, especially when she has had to go through this twice now with two husbands. I was very glad I came, though. The 5 hour drive down and back was nothing to what it meant to my grandma for me to be there.
On a happier note, the first UR show on Thursday was a very big success. There was a good crowd and Cait did a great job as well as Silent Point, even though they struggled a bit because they were missing a band member. It was a good time.
Today was super-bowl Sunday. I couldn't ask for more.. BBQ chicken wings, beers at Stykels, good times had by all!
Alright, my hands are getting tired so I'm going to continue this some other time. But don't worry, I'll be back for more.
- Nate |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|10:40 am] |
It's quite a day. After all the breaks, interims, trips, birthday, holidays, etc.. It is only one day until the start of second semester.
It's giving me both an excited feeling and a queazy, nervous feeling at the same time.
Our family and Cassie are going to see Phantom of the Opera in Madison today before we go back up to Oshkosh, which will be excellent.
I just heard some sad news a little bit ago.. We think that my Grandma Beerkircher's (on my mom's side) husband Paul (she remarried after my grandpa died, which was before I was born) may have passed away this morning, fairly suddenly.
He was always pretty quiet and mostly kept to himself. I've known him for a very long time, but actually talked to him very little. He had been in the service for much of his life and was a very hard worker in Dodgeville. Unfortunately, that is about all I know about him from the few times we have talked. My most vivid memory is of him sitting on his lawn chair in the back yard with his dog in the summertime, just watching the world pass by.
Him and my grandma were always a funny pair because she talks non-stop about anything and everything, and he hardly says a word. Sometime she was hard on him, in a mostly joking way, for not doing something or some little thing, but you could tell she really loved him, even just to have someone to wake up with in the morning.
I am very glad that we were able to share some time together on Christmas when the grandparents all came over for dinner. I talked to Paul more in that one night than I think I have any other time in my life combined. He was outspoken about being in the service and about how the town used to be. It really made him happy to share his past with someone, especially someone who was young like me.
What a week. I'll have to keep an update of how this turns out.. back in Oshkosh tonight. We'll see ya.
- Nate |
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| The Good and the Evil |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|11:37 pm] |
I'm back to talk about our trip, so why don't I start at the very beginning..
Monday was very exciting. Cassie and I met up with Paul and Appy at "Moosejaw" restaurant and had a great lunch together, getting happy birthday sung to me and all. We checked into our room at the Wilderness which was completely gorgeous. It was a huge place with big rooms, a couple fireplaces, kitchen, and a whirlpool on the porch. That afternoon we checked out the waterpark in our part of the hotel (there were 3 of them in all) and had an excellent homemade dinner of spagetti.
That night Paul took me downtown for my first night of bar hopping. It was a really incredible time. I got free drinks everywhere and met some really cool people. The highlight of the night was when word spread that I was a "newbie" and the entire bar took a toast in my honor, purchased by a real nice guy who we hung out with a bit that night. Paul was definately the man of the night. He showed me the greatest time and was a truly great friend to me.
We got back and made our way to the whirlpool with the ladies after we made a few phone calls to our promised people. I'll just stop the story of that night right there.. but let's just say it was pretty incredible until we got to bed around three. I honestly could not have thought of a better way to spend my birthday.
So here's where things turned a bit sour.. I woke up at about 3:45 to cassie sprinting to the bathroom and essentially puking her guts out. My first thought was that she had drank too much, but she kept puking and was feeling very sick. At this point in time we think her sickness was caused by stomach flu. I was up most of the night doing whatever I could (which wasn't much) to make her feel better, but I was being just as upset about it as she was, especially when we were sitting up early in the morning having an awful time in such a beautiful hotel room and when last night had been so great. Sometimes things can turn so bad in such a hurry!
For Cassie, the next day was not much better. I went out early in the morning to pick her up some Pepto Bismol and Gatorade. She could hardly move because of her stomach pain and laid around for the vast majority of the day. The rest of us tried to make the best of it. Paul and I went to another indoor waterpark and Paul and Abby made really great sandwiches for lunch in our room. Later on, Paul, Abby and I went to the nearby waterpark and had some more fun there, but it was very difficult to enjoy ourselves knowing that Cassie was suffering in the room. Of course, she did not want us to sit around and be down all vacation, so we did what we could.
Needless to say, I slept like a rock that night and was extremely gratified to wake up to a girl who was feeling 90% better! This morning we still managed to go to the water park once again. There were some fun slides and such, but most of our time was spent in the indoor/outdoor hot tub. Heck, that's where most of the best parts of our trip were spent. Cassie and I had lunch at this nice little ma and pa restaurant and took off for the quick drive home. Now I'm here in Dodgeville to tell about it.
As you can see, this trip was a combined dream and nightmare. It really painted a portrait of the best and worst times of life. It is bad enough when someone is sick or not having a good time, but it is so incredibly depressing when it is vacation, when we had been looking forward to it for so long! It really made my heart sink for her, but also selfishly for myself because I could not fully have the enjoyable time that I wanted to have. Maybe God just wanted me to reflect on it, and make me see that everything can't be all fun and games all the time.
Truly now, if I am able to wipe yesterday (Tuesday) from my head (or at least the worst parts of Tuesday), this trip was everything I could have hoped for and more. It really made me see how lucky I am.
I am lucky to have great friends.
I am lucky to be healthy and living where I am.
I am lucky to have the opportunity to do the things I do.
In a way, the roughest parts made the good parts look all the more incredible. Maybe the same is true for life. It seems as though we can't enjoy ourself as much unless we work through hard or difficult times first. We wouldn't want to be on vacation ALL the time, but we certainly wouldn't want to work all the time either. I really believe that some of the happiest people are hard-woking people. But they are the ones who still know how to have a good time as well.
My real goal for myself is to be the best person I can be to my friend and family. I want to find that perfect balance between work and play so I can be as satisfied as possible. I get that satisfaction from making great connections with my good friends and discovering new things about myself and the world around me.
There was a little booklet in our room that we could sign and write about our trip for future guests who stay in our room, sort of as a little time capsule for the room. I thought that was such a neat idea.
In it, I wrote that this hotel is a great place to stay for "adults, kids, or adults who act like kids (i.e. us)."
I hope even now after I am essentially an adult in every sense of the word, that I can still remain a kid in my heart. I hope that on everyone, especially in a time when it is so easy to lose touch with innocence and to not be rooted within your own self.
I'm going to remember this trip forever as both a spectacular time, and a difficult life lesson. It is the good and the evil. But hey, that's 21.
- Nate |
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| Snowy Night |
[Jan. 24th, 2005|12:56 am] |
I am excited to be writing as a 21 year old only 56 minutes ago.
My quiet night was spent cuddled up with Cassie and a movie, and having a beer on the couch at home with the cat in my lap.
There will be plenty of time on the trip tomorrow for celebration, but tonight was great for sitting and enjoying life for how it is.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am feeling I am on this plateau in my life. I'm standing and looking back at the past and I feel like it is finally easy to put behind me.
It's not about forgetting all that I have done or learned, I would never want that, but it is about looking forward to what's ahead. Looking toward all the things I will do that I could never have previously imagined.
I feel like it's time to stop sitting and dreaming and tell myself that I CAN do the things I want to do.
I CAN make REAL movies.. I CAN have a career.. I CAN have a family someday.. I CAN have my own home studio..
I know I have to believe this or I'm getting myself nowhere.
Just a few minutes ago I was driving around dodgeville taking pictures of the streetlights and the snow. I get such an eerie feeling from this town on nights like these. It's almost like it is showing me how small we are. Roads cris-cross and lead to somewhere or nowhere or anywhere.
You'll hear back from me again at the end of the trip. I hope it to be a small, incredible time.
Goodnight. Sleep tight.
- Nate |
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| Home sweet home |
[Jan. 22nd, 2005|01:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Quiet | ] |
So I'm back in good ol D-ville. It was quite a trek through the storm tonight from Oshkosh! We added an extra hour from going slow in the snow and being in traffic. It was good to make it home.
So tomorrow we are celebrating both mine and my mom's birthday by going to the Brew Pub in Mineral Point. It's one of our favorite places.
I took my final in American Government. It was really tough, but thankfully it is curved so hopefully everyone else struggled as well!
So I really want to make a movie this week when we get back from the trip. Something really quiet and quaint.. like showing dodgeville in the dead of winter.
I think overall Dodgeville is is a much more beautiful part of wisconsin than Oshkosh.
I am, of course, very excited for the trip on Monday.. It should be a great time!
I will now be 21 in only two days. wowzers.
I look forward to a great week off and am gearing up for a crazy second semester.
Later,
Nate |
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| I HATE online QUIZZES! But I love YOU! |
[Jan. 18th, 2005|07:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  My frog is spewing profanities | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Your MOM!! *snicker snicker* GOTCHA! | ] |
Dammit, I always get everything wrong on these damn things!
Screw American Government, anyway. I'm a communist. ya hear? A COMMUNIST!
ok just kidding.
anyway.. I'm trying to avoid studying by typing random junk, and it seems to be working quite well.
So Paul and I decided that we are going to Bonnaroo this summer. SUHWEET!
I'm also thinking of traveling with cassie for summer work which could be a pretty rockin' time as well.
Damn.. only six days until the big 21.. I feel old.. like an adult.. and not a kid anymore.. DAMN that sucks!
but.. on the other hand... I can drink!! Ok I feel fine about it now.
mmm.. portabella burgers for dinner. mmmm...
Watchin' Brazil tonight.. you know.. that crazy 80's movie by Terry Gilliam..
I like getting good movies from the school library, they actually have some nice titles.
Oh.. and Lifepartners meeting! We're planning for next semester.. website, lots of shows, merch, kicking ass, stuff like that.
Thats all that is going on. Look at Stykel's pics and be envious. Because they rule.
- Nate-o-nator |
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| PARTY with MLK! |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|08:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sigur Ros | ] |
Thanks to that good man, we get a day off today!
And boy was it a great day to have off due to the great fun that ensued the previous night. Yes indeed, is was a fun time to be had by all, including lots of jamming and all around C R A Z Y times!
Excellent pics and videos Nick and Stykel... it really gave me the Stykel Blues.. and a strange hankering for pancakes...
I showed off my blatz helment and drumming/cowbell skills throughout the night.
DK BLATZTED!!
So today I actually went running with John and Amy! I was a little rusty (ok..a lot rusty) but it felt good so who knows, maybe I'll make a habit of it!
Tomorrow it's back to classes (only 3 more left before the final) and it's less than a week until the BIG 21!!! OH YEAH!
Until we meet again...
- Nate *wearing protective blatz helmet* |
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